Area Restaurant Critic Finds The Perfect Twitter Avatar To Protect His Anonymity

Citing a need to further conceal his identity to the only people who don’t already know what he looks like — his readers — Roger Martin has a new Twitter avatar.

“I really wanted something that could convey my smugness without exposing my face. And even though every single restaurateur in this town already knows what I look like, I guess it’s just a matter of principle at this point. How can anyone trust that I am 100% completely objective if they can actually see me? This drawing feels more appropriate.”

Smith also referenced that one time when a fan actually did recognize him at a restaurant from his old Twitter profile as further motivation. “My old picture was of some meat, and I was eating meat, so I guess he just put two and two together. It was really unpleasant, especially when the guy asked to take a picture.”

No word yet on how Smith’s Twitter followers have reacted, but judging by the lack of furious outrage, it seems that people are taking the change well. “If they don’t like something, they’ll tell you. They get angry pretty easy.”